At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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