As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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