apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
