Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
