yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
