I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
