Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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