Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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