Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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