so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
