I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
