she woke up with a sticky ear
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
