At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
