My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How does one acquire holy water?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
