doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
