Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
