guys are not supposed to queef...right?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
