my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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