I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His nipple licking is glorious
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