He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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