I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
