Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize