normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
