Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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