it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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