1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
