I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
