what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
