How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
