Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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