Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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