How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Who died my cat blue again?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
