my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
