are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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