she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
