dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
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Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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