He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
