you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
