Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
