Moan for me like Helen Keller
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize