I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have demons in me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
