I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
