have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
