i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
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Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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