At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
