am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
