remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
