Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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