i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
