i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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