Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
