it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
