oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
