hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
