I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
