Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
