why didn't you poke me back
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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