We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
