Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
