So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
