just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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