We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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