I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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