We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
