Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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