But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
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I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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