Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
